If I had a husband that struck me, beat me, or inflicted any physical (or even emotional) harm to me- let this be an early warning to him: You won’t exist in my life afterwards. I absolutely despise the scene where Stanley beats Stella. Being drunk or angry does not pose as an excuse to beat your pregnant wife. The simple fact that Stella went back to him shortly after he beat her exposes Stella as a weak woman that is far from being independent. For once, I agreed with Blanche: Stella needed to get away from the monster of a husband she had; especially since Stella states that his physical harm to her comes as no surprise.
Ladies of our AP English class, I have a question for you- put yourself in Stella’s shoes. If you loved your husband as much as Stella loved Stanley- would you walk away from him after he hit you? Consider everything- you’re pregnant, and you “love” him, and you’d have nothing (but your sister- who also has nothing) if you were to leave. Would you do it? Alternatively, would you go back to him just as easily as Stella went back to Stanley? Honest responses would be great. Domestic violence is a serious issue, and there are women that go through worse abuse (emotional and physical) than Stella did- and continuously go back to their partners because they feel ‘protected’ with them. Truthfully, I don’t even know what I would do in that situation. I’d be torn- and more than likely go back to him (despite my previous warning to my future husband-to-be).
I loathe Stanley. He is an animal that cannot be tamed. It appears that once his mind is set on something, he’ll never give up (for example: trying to expose Blanche for what she genuinely is). I believe that he is sexist, and all about male supremacy (both qualities in a man that I detest very much). On the other hand, I must admit I have a soft spot for Mitch. He cares for his ill mother very much, and yearns to find a woman for himself. Unfortunately, for him, it had to be Blanche. Blanche charmed him, and made him think of her as a pure woman. Mitch wants to form a relationship with her, but she’s already built the relationship through her conniving, and untruthful ways.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Rema, in my blog post, I, too touched on the subject of Stanley beating Stella. I stated in my second blog post that if my husband were to ever hit me I wouldn't have it, and I stand by that. When you say that if your husband hit you, he won't exist in your life after that, I must agree with you. You are right in saying that domestic violence is a serious issue, one that is too common. For example, the first thing that came to mind for me was Chris Brown and Rihanna. Apparently, he had hit her several times before she decided to do anything about it. When a husband hits his wife, the wife often assumes her husband will change. It's time for these wives to wake up from their fairytales. People rarely change. They need to stop thinking their husbands are the exceptions.
ReplyDeleteAs for Mitch, I can't say I have the same soft spot. I'm not really sure why. If anyone asked me why I dislike Mitch, I would not be able to give a clear answer. I'm just not a fan of his.
GOOD QUESTION!! haha. I most likely would break down and go back as well, sad to say. I would LOVE to be a strong woman and do the right thing for myself, but if I truly love him, and am carrying his child, I'd go back, with in time at least. This actually brings me to a rather personal story, where my Aunt is divorcing her first husband because he cheated, leaving her with 2 children, My Aunt is very strong in being able to stand up and tell him she wants a divorce, no matter how long they had been together and how much she loved him. I support and look up to her so much.
ReplyDeleteBut I am sad to say, I disagree, I found it lovely that Stanley told Stella what was going on with her sister. Although, yes it was wrong for just telling her straight. But she NEEDED to be told, she needed to get herself out of the hole her sister dug her into. Blanche took advantage of Stella so much, she even admitted she did in Scene Five page 79 to 80 when she's making Stella feel guilty for always making her do things for her, such as buying her cokes, and get her the liquor. But as soon as Stella tells her to stop talking foolish, Blanche just goes back and tells her what to do, boss her around.
In my opinion I was grateful Stanley was their to steer Stella in the right direction.
I might not be a girl, but that doesn't mean I can't occasionally think like one. I've watched Oprah's specials on abusive relationships and I've learned a lot based on that and have developed my own conclusions as a result. In about 90% of the cases the women stayed because they fealt powerless, and more importantly that they needed their man in order to make it. In a sense they feel helpless and so they seek no way out of the relationship because they don't think they have anything to go back to. As rema points out here Stella was in a bit of a pickle. She's pregant, in love, and belle reve her only other home is gone. She really is helpless. What can she do to make her life better? Leaving Stanley is almost a sure way to end her life soon because based on the fact that she grew up on a ritsy plantation I can almost guarantee she has no job skills. That and her pregnacy forget about it. If I was in her shoes I'd pick the lesser of two evils and take the backhand every now and then if it meant having food and shelter as well as a safe place to raise my kid. That and the fact that she deos seem to genuinely love Stanley makes putting up with his abuse that much more tolerable.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more with what Rema is saying. As we all know, abusing your spouse, lover, etc. is unacceptable. I think Stanley's actions were completely inappropriate and unforgivable. To get yourself drunk to the point where you are a different person doesn't excuse you from the actions you inflicted on others. I also agree with Rema on the issue about Stanley being a sexist. But what can you do to prevent him from being sexist? Remember, he's living in a different time than the one we're living in right now. In his day, equality for both men and women wasn't as important as it is now. If he were living in today's society, then yes, people would have shame on him for his actions and beliefs.
ReplyDeleteRema, i have to agree with you in ever single point you touched upon, As a female myself i am 100% against Domestic Violence, Unfortunately it happens WAY to often in todays society, sometimes i even find myself asking why? why would you stay? but in this instance i can't agree with why Stella stayed but i can understand her reasoning to an extent, She is in love with him, she is carrying his child, and sadly she has nothing to fall back on, no chance to support herself her sister and her child to be, so to answer your question if i was Stella for the time being I'd probably stay with him...it actually gets me sick to my stomach writing that sentence.
ReplyDeleteAnd i Most defiantly agree with you about Mitch,
he respects women Unlike Stanley.
Woow! it is really refreshing to see the guys comment on this issue. I, just like everyone who has blogged, cannot agree anymore with you. I am also comepletely against domestic violence of anysort. I can't begin to express how abosulutely degrading i find it. For a man to do that to a woman. Is this really called love? Not at all! Women have to open their eyes and realize that no matter how troubled a man is or whatever his issues, he shoudl never lay a hand on them- ever!Just like you said Rema, the man would be immediately out of my life- I don't care if I'm carrying his child in my stomach- it only takes one time, because if he can abuse you, don't doubt that he can't do worse.
ReplyDeleteI also agree with you about Stanely- he is a pig- disgusting. I think i dislike him more than Blanche(and believe me that is a lot of dislike). Finaly Rema, i don't think you could have addressed this issue any better. Once again I completely agree with every single point you made.