Melody's journals #1,2: Crime and Punishment

In society if we don't communicate with people we can drive ourselves insane. It's healthy to go out and socialize, to have friends. Raskolnikov on the other hand didn't like to socialize, "he avoided society of every sort." Of course sometimes even if we don't like socializing with people we find it hard not to, so we go out and find someone anyone to talk to. "We all have chance meetings with people, even with complete strangers, who interest us at first glance, suddenly, before a word is spoken." I find this statement to be totally true, we do all have a chance at meetings people even if we don't know anything about them. When we don't plan on meeting someone we do meet them, and before we know it we're best friends.

Raskolnikov was a young poor fellow who had the temptation to kill Aliona Ivanovna an old woman who owned a pawn shop. I found it weird that a former student would want to kill an old woman, but than I figured from the way he was dressed in rags, he wasn't rich, in fact he was poor and he probably just wanted to rob her. Then, Raskolnikov asked about her sister and I wondered who the sister could be. As I read further I learned Lizaveta was Aliona Ivanovna's younger half sister who she was very cruel to. Aliona Ivanovna would beat her sister and keep all the money they made for herself. I thought it was mean for a old woman who's only family is her half sister could do such a thing. I know I wouldn't act like that with my half sister, especially if she was my only family. I started to think that Raskolnikov was acting heroic, but also very insane. I thought he could have possibly handled the situation in a different manner. Maybe he could have talked to Aliona Ivanovna about her cruelty towards her sister or possibly gone to the police instead of killing the old bitter abusive woman, but once the day came that he was going to kill the old woman, he ended up not only killing her, but her sister as well. I thought of him as as idiot.

When Raskolnikov became sick and delirious I thought that made him seem suspicious. People started saying he seemed like a "mad man."Finding out the old man knew about him being a murderer probably just made him think more and more about the crime he had just committed. He tried to hard to hide it from everyone, trying to seem as normal as possible. Although people do seem to notice him act sort weird. Then, he had the dream about the old woman laughing louder and louder as he hit her over the head with an axe. I believe his conscience would either drive him crazy with guilt, causing him to confess about the murder or just simply drive him insane.

#2

We have to make decisions in our lives, the question is what's the right decision? In Sonya's life her father's alcoholism has lead him to drink all of his fortune away leaving his family to starvation and poverty. Sonya (being the good daughter that she is) felt she had to go and help out her family, so she became a prostitute. Her step-mother Katerina Ivanonva has tuberculosis and may not have much time to live. Having had her alcoholic father be killed by a moving carriage, Raskolnikov brings the idea to her head that, she must think of what might happen to the children (Sonya's brothers and sisters). Believing in her own faith in God, Sonya believes God will help her family overcome this tragedy. When Raskolnikov come to her with the decision to run off with him, she is forced to make a difficult decision.

When Raskolnikov entered the office of Porfiry Petrovich he just had the intention of giving Porfiry the written statement of his pawned possessions, but Porfiry quickly caught him in a long conversation about the crime. "I believe it's a sort of legal rule, a sort of legal tradition-for all investigating lawyers-to begin their attack from afar." Raskolnikov knew Porfiry suspected him of committing the murder, but Raskolnikov tried to play it off as he didn't know. I believe if it wasn't for Nikolai walking into the office and confessing to the crime he hadn't committed, Raskolnikov would have confessed his crime. Making the decision to confess to the murder is turning out to be very difficult for Raskolnikov. It's almost as if he's playing a game to see if he'll get caught.