Journal #1
I have just read the first part and some of part two of Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky. So far I'm really interested in the book and intrigued by the main character, Raskolnikov. Since the beginning of the story, one can see that he has some mental issues, and that he is therefore different from most "normal" people. However, I'm doubtful about the process which led him get to such a state. Logistically, someone doesn't just wake up one day and starts being "crazy." There are many actions that lead certain people to act a certain way, and I'm curious to know what really happened to him in his past.
I'm also perplexed by some of his past that we now know from the beginning. I wonder what really happened with the girl who, I believe, was his girlfriend and ostensibly died. Raskolnikov also seems to be ostracized from society in such a way that he is treated as pariah, with the exception of certain people who learned to tolerate him. He is apparently young and does not seem to be able to stand in his feet well (economically and socially), and people who often are in these cases tend to go back "home." I wonder why he doesn't consider going back, since he evidently loves his mother and sister. And I'm almost fearful of this kind of love, since he seems to object to his sister's decision to get married. He sees it as her sacrifice for him and her mother. In addition, this brings me to the idea that maybe he is just like any teenager or young adult who wants to prove that he can be an autonomous young adult, capable of resisting the urge to go back home.
In the other hand, I also emphatically agree with some of my classmates, who think that if he had such a ferocious desire to get some money, he certainly did not have to kill Alyona and her sister, Lizakta. No one has a right to take someone else's life, and definitely not in exchange for money. I'm sure he knows this very well, and I think he became unconscious of this when he committed the crime (even though that is no excuse). I also wonder if he actually has some mental illness or disease because he seemed to get physically sick and mentally unconscious right after the robbery and homicide. Yet this could also be due to that fact that he became really scared afterwards and could have gone into a panic reaction mode.
As of now I'm full of questions, and very interested in the book. Even thought the story can be traumatizing for some, and eye-opening for others, I think it is a story that will unravel many interesting aspects.
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