Nikki Dudelson- Crime and Punishment

Crime and Punishment - Journal #1

The first impression I get of Raskolnikov is that he has a superior way about him, meaning that he thinks he's better than everybody. It's interesting how even after he does a nice thing for Marmeladov's family by leaving them the small amount of money before he left their house, he immediately has bad thoughts about them. Then why did he leave the money in the first place? Then he gets the letter from his mother about his sister getting married, and he starts crying. I think he cries because his sister is sacrificing herself just like Sonya is, and that gets to him. Then the walk in the park where he confronts the older man makes me think that everything that is wrong or unfortunate in the world just upsets Raskolnikov, yet there's nothing he can do about the wrongs which just make him angrier. Especially with the dream this is verified, and how he calls out against bad things but it does no good. Maybe that's why he wants to commit this terrible act that he's thinking of, to get revenge of some sort, or to let out his anger. Then he goes to the pawnbrokers house, and it shocks me that he actually ends up killing her, and her sister. I can't help but wonder why he did it...
Raskolnikov goes to the police station because he hasn't paid rent, and he gets paranoid because he thinks the police know about the murders. I think his crazy dreams, hallucinations, and deep sleeps are definitely a major part in what he imagines and his personality. He may have some sort of illness, like schizophrenia. Then we are told he hasn't been fully conscious for four days, and I wonder what has really happened. Has he imagined the killings? I start to feel nervous when Zossimov and Razumikhin realize that the talk of the murders start to irritate Raskolnikov. He's definitely getting crazier, especially with the police inspector's conversation as well as the workmen in the pawnbroker's apartment. Afterwards however with the scene at Marmeladov's, he starts to feel better about himself and his sick acts, because in a way he made up for them by helping Marmeladov's family. Once Razumikhin ends up taking care of him after how sick Raskolnikov is, I think he's going to end up cracking and telling the truth, if he's not just hallucinating it all.

2
After Razumikhin declares his attraction for Dunya, an immediate lightbulb goes off in my head that it could possibly end up dangerous. Raskolnikov is angry, and he already doesn't like Dunya's husband-to-be, so I can't imagine what he'd end up doing to his own friend. After Raskolnikov faints at the saying "guilty for no one's death," it's clear that he can't hold it together, and the murders are truly getting to him and making him overly paranoid. It's interesting how Raskolnikov doesn't know his own article was published, and how interestingly enough he included in the article how some men are entitled to commit murder. Maybe, all along, this idea was in his mind as he did commit the murders, and that's why it's not that big of a deal to him. The book at this point is just creepy, how the stranger calls him a murderer and his dream about Alyona and how she's laughing, and even worse, how he wakes up to a stranger in his own room. Maybe it's karma.

The stranger Svidrigailov appears in his room to basically ask to marry Dunya, explaining the death of his wife, Marfa. It's interesting how Raskolnikov wonders if Svidrigailov is insane and could have potentially murdered his wife, when Raskolnikov has also committed murder. After the dinner with Luzhin, Raskolnikov's strange, inconsistent behavior appears again, and after he leaves and tells everybody that they can't follow him, his friend realizes he's the murderer. It's interesting to me how Raskolnikov is concerned that people will realize he did it, yet he makes no effort to cover it up, especially with his crazy behavior. I kind of knew after Raskolnikov left the money with Sonya and her family that he liked Sonya. I don't think it's in a passionate way, he just looks at Sonya as a confused, young girl, who doesn't know the evils of the world yet, and maybe he likes Sonya because he feels she's easy to be around. I'm not sure if Raskolnikov is simply hallucinating all the scenes in the police station that Nikolai confessed to murdering the pawnbroker, and suddenly the stranger apologizes to him, but it's almost too good to be true. There's no way Raskolnikov got off the hook that easily.

3

I wasn't sure what to think of the memorial dinner at Marmeladov's, if it was climatic or just the usual. Katerina in a way reminds me of Raskolnikov, thinking he's better than everybody else when really he isn't. I wasn't too sure what to get out of the scene where Luzhin accuses Sonya of stealing the one hundred rubles, even though he really placed them in Sonya's pocket. Clearly Luzhin is a bad guy and just wants attention, and hopefully this part with Sonya was his last. We finally find out why Raskolnikov committed the murders, as he tells Sonya. Sonya's reaction is interesting, the fact that she promises not to abandon him. Maybe she's just scared that he'll kill her too, which he probably wouldn't because he actually likes Sonya, but she seems like a genuinely good person.
I find it very interesting that Porfiry comes by blatantly telling Raskolnikov that he's the murderer, but he feels bad for him and he would put in a good word with the judge. Even the fact that he says in case Raskolnikov commits suicide, to let him know where the stolen goods are. Svidrigailov is a disgusting man with all that happens with Dunya. I'm sure Dunya ends up believing what Svidrigailov says when he mentions he overheard Sonya and Raskolnikov's conversation about Raskolnikov confessing to the murders, but he tells Dunya he would rape her. I think his dream represents the fact that he knows he's strange with his obsession with young girls, but I don't understand why he kills himself. I think it was good that he confessed, but I don't think he would've done it without Sonya watching him. He knew Sonya was a good influence even though she did terrible things to provide for her own family, but he obviously listened to her, and she made an impact on his life.
I liked the ending of the book in the epilogue because it finally comes together that Raskolnikov did love Sonya, he wasn't "too good" for her or anything like that. I also like how he began reading the New Testament that Sonya gave him, further showing her good influence on him. The book could've ended with Raskolnikov dying, but instead it ended that it was a renewal, which signified that everything ended to be okay.